Is there a soul mate for me?
Answer:
Did you know that this idea of the "soul mate other half" comes from pagan Greek mythology? The idea was that humans were created whole and androgynous - that is, we were a creature that is both male and female. Then, the gods split us up so we are no longer whole, but two halves. We spend the rest of our lives yearning and incomplete until we find our "one true love" (sound familiar?), at which point we will be finally complete and content. Least you are tempted to just dismiss this as ancient pagan philosophy that has no relevance today, think about how this idea permeates in our modern society. Fairy tales tell us that they lived "happily ever after", as if finding a partner the key to lifelong happiness. The internet is filled with quizzes like "How to find out if he is The One!". A recent trend in Hollywood movies is to have a protagonist be already married, and then finding their soulmate some years after their marriage. In those movies, we are lead to be sympathetic to their adultery because - after all - the person they married was not their other half!
Christians can buy into this as well. After all, we know that "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). We can easily imbibe the popular cultural belief that we are incomplete, unfulfilled, and deficient unless we are in a relationship.
What does the Bible say?
1. In the beginning (Genesis 1:26-31)
In the beginning, God created humans, and set us apart from all of His other creation. We uniquely bear His image and likeness, we alone were given the commission to have dominion over the vastness of the earth. There can be no doubt about it - we were his people, in his garden, doing his work, reflecting his image, enjoying his presence and blessing. And God looked and said this is very good... and stepped back and rested.
The "fall" of mankind is described in chapter 3 - the forbidden fruit which brought about death. Eve looked at the fruit and saw that it was "good", and in that moment mankind turned away from the source of our life and blessing, toward something we thought was better. The result? We could no longer be his people, in his garden, doing his work, enjoying his presence. We separated from the one God that brought us life, and we continue seek to find the life, shelter and identity we once had in Eden... except that we look for it in anything but God. The creation that was intended to be subdued by us now has now become our master (Romans 1:25).
Perhaps you will think that I am taking a detour, but it is important to see that we were indeed whole at one time, but our wholeness had nothing to do with a "soulmate" of the opposite sex. God saw that man was not good by himself, and so made the woman, and together they imaged God... but the source of their life and fulfilment came not from each other but from God and his commission.
2. The solution
3. What does this mean for me?
This means that there is no such thing as "The One"... unless of course you are talking about Christ. I'm not sorry to pop your bubble - because this is wonderfully liberating. You're not looking for someone who is "perfect" for you, or someone who understands you completely - you've already found him in Christ! And if you are already dating someone, you can stop asking yourself if he or she is the "soulmate" who is going to give fulfilment to your life. I can tell you that he (or she) is not, Christ is.
Christians can buy into this as well. After all, we know that "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). We can easily imbibe the popular cultural belief that we are incomplete, unfulfilled, and deficient unless we are in a relationship.
What does the Bible say?
1. In the beginning (Genesis 1:26-31)
In the beginning, God created humans, and set us apart from all of His other creation. We uniquely bear His image and likeness, we alone were given the commission to have dominion over the vastness of the earth. There can be no doubt about it - we were his people, in his garden, doing his work, reflecting his image, enjoying his presence and blessing. And God looked and said this is very good... and stepped back and rested.
The "fall" of mankind is described in chapter 3 - the forbidden fruit which brought about death. Eve looked at the fruit and saw that it was "good", and in that moment mankind turned away from the source of our life and blessing, toward something we thought was better. The result? We could no longer be his people, in his garden, doing his work, enjoying his presence. We separated from the one God that brought us life, and we continue seek to find the life, shelter and identity we once had in Eden... except that we look for it in anything but God. The creation that was intended to be subdued by us now has now become our master (Romans 1:25).
Perhaps you will think that I am taking a detour, but it is important to see that we were indeed whole at one time, but our wholeness had nothing to do with a "soulmate" of the opposite sex. God saw that man was not good by himself, and so made the woman, and together they imaged God... but the source of their life and fulfilment came not from each other but from God and his commission.
2. The solution
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14-19, emphasis added)God had a singular solution to our fallenness: Christ, who lived the life that we should have lived, and endured the death we should have died. Not only that, he gave us a new heart in the Spirit to replace our old hearts which have grown deaf and numb to him (Ezekiel 11:19). Through Christ, we can be filled with the fullness of God. In other words, if you are looking to be fulfilled in your human life, it is not going to come from a member of the opposite sex. To truly get back to Eden, to that place where we can be filled with the riches of his glory again, we need Christ to dwell in our hearts through faith.
3. What does this mean for me?
This means that there is no such thing as "The One"... unless of course you are talking about Christ. I'm not sorry to pop your bubble - because this is wonderfully liberating. You're not looking for someone who is "perfect" for you, or someone who understands you completely - you've already found him in Christ! And if you are already dating someone, you can stop asking yourself if he or she is the "soulmate" who is going to give fulfilment to your life. I can tell you that he (or she) is not, Christ is.
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